The Bottom Line for Dining with Others and Paying the Tab

 I am back trying to get my unpublished book “The Split Second:  In Consideration of Others or Look Up from the Phone and How to Deal with Rudeness in Others” published. I will not give up for right now whatsoever; however, there is enough “pushback” against my concept of a society where we all get along and are nice to each other. Then there are others who motivate me to go on with this project. I am incredibly grateful to them. I hope I can get the good word out there. Some love it; some think it is useless.

This is yet another blog beyond a three-part sort of offering (I wrote that there would be more). This will end it. This can be a relevant issue considering how many people dine out at restaurants.

I have been discussing the concept of when two or more people go out for a meal in a restaurant, how should paying the bill be settled. I find there can be much confusion over this. There are those who still think, as a rule, those of us who like to go out to eat occasionally, should follow some old-fashioned customs. I will wrap this up by writing and repeating what I have been stating all along through these blogs. Please, please, please do not assume that someone is going to pay for your meal in a restaurant unless she/he has made that noticeably clear. One obvious line is “dinner is on me, tonight.” Then there is no doubt. There are still too many people who want to follow old rules that are clearly outdated. Also, there are people out there who want to enjoy a delicious meal and see if they can get another to pay for it. I had a good “friend” who did that constantly until I brought it clearly to his attention.

The other thing to remember is that when in a restaurant with others, “if you order it, be prepared to pay for it.” The idea of people ordering much food and several drinks and then planning on “splitting the tab” with other(s) when those others ordered much less can be seen as hateful and/or inconsiderate. I do not advise taking out a calculator to figure it out. I have seen folks do that. In this day, there are several restaurants who will give patrons separate checks if requested. That is very noble of the waitress/waiter to do that. I would advise all the patrons tip that waitress/waiter very nicely.

My book is about thoughtfulness for others. Many have told me that this is slipping away in society. I believe that we can truly become a society where we can all think of others as we “go out in the world.”  It must start somewhere.