Picking Up the Tab

 I am back trying to get my unpublished book “The Split Second:  In Consideration of Others or Look Up from the Phone and How to Deal with Rudeness in Others” published. I will not give up for right now whatsoever; however, there is enough “pushback” against my concept of a society where we all get along and are nice to each other. Then there are others who motivate me to go on with this project. I am incredibly grateful to them.

My next blogs will be a three-part sort of offering. I understand the script that says TLTR. I must admit that I gloss over some long offerings on Social Media posts myself. Then I tend to write long blogs myself. Oh well.

I was advised a few years ago to create a Facebook profile and get active particularly in Etiquette groups. I resisted social media for a long time, and I have some problems with it; however, when given the advice, I decided to “get with the times.” A constant concern in these groups is the issue of who “picks up the tab” when two or more people are going out for a meal. The old-fashioned way of doing things when it came to eating out was two-fold: 1.) If a man and woman are dining, the man pays for the meal.  2.) The person who suggests that or invites others will pay for the meal. The times have changed and as one who has “picked up the tab” for many meals for others, I am incredibly happy this is so. What is disturbing or even laughable to a point is there are those in society who ascribe to either or both now old-fashioned etiquette rules.

I discuss this at length in “The Split Second.”  I have a new two-prong rule that I share with members of the Etiquette groups, in the book, and with anyone who will listen. It is a different age now. The first part is never assume that anyone is going to pay for your meal when you are dining out with others unless she/he has said quite clearly that she/he will gladly “pick up the tab” for that meal. The second part is if you order it, be prepared to pay for it. Period! I will discuss this more at length in my next blogs. Keeping it short and proud of myself for that.

My book is about thoughtfulness for others. Many have told me that this is slipping away in society. I believe that we can truly become a society where we can all think of others as we “go out in the world.”  It must start somewhere.