No Phones at the Table

The Split Second-In Consideration of Others in These Trying Times or Look Up from the Phone

 As I keep writing in these blogs, I am still trying to get my unpublished book “The Split Second:  In Consideration of Others or Look Up from the Phone and How to Deal with Rudeness in Others” published. It has not been easy “selling” the concept, and I have discussed how some people who could really benefit from its initial message would never read it. I have a bit of a gimmick, and though, I cannot take total credit for it.

I have heard of a concept that would that some folks have implemented particularly with family members: “No phones at the table.” This is an idea I need to spread out to the world if I can. If I am seated in a restaurant, it distresses me when I see two or more people not interacting with each other but rather using their phones to text, play games, or whatever. Often, I see parents who have their child/children using a phone while they and other adults conversing. I discuss in The Split Second how my late parents took my brother and me to many restaurants in this country and throughout Europe and always engaged us in conversation when they did. Of course, the cell phone did not exist over 50 years ago. I am so grateful now for their involvement with us when we went out to eat. Ultimately, I cannot tell other people what to do in a restaurant, but I hope they will listen to my suggestion here.

Also, I have been out to restaurants with friends many times and a friend feels she/he must take out her/his cell phone. I turn my phone off as I enter a restaurant with friends, by the way. Often the reasoning behind this is not for a work situation or an emergency. I have put up with a given friend talking to her/his parent while I just sit there (the simple glaring looks on my face will say much without me using spoken words whatsoever). I was “picking up the tab” once when this happened with a friend.  With another friend, I was told, “It’s my dad, and he doesn’t text.” Once, I said to a friend, “You have one minute.”  He had been describing how to download an application on a computer to his friend over the cell phone while I sat there eating my meal. After my declaration, this friend said, “I have to go; I will finish it with you later.” None of these instances was very nice; the cell phone conversations could have waited; but all these people had one thing on their minds at the time: “I have to take care of whatever I need to take care of now.” I understand when there are work-related circumstances and emergencies.  But the emergencies must be real ones (as I high school teacher, I heard many “emergencies” that were nowhere close to being actual emergencies). However, these are four words I really do not like in a restaurant situation involving a cell phone, “I gotta take this.” Usually, the person really does not have to do so.

So here is my suggestion: a rule that I could never impose absolutely but can suggest: No phones at the table. I will make it a request of those I dine with each time. Maybe if that simple declaration can be expressed and followed, we could become a society that is more in tune with and involved with each other. Again: No phones at the table. Please. Let us at least thing about that.

 Again, I have not given up Maybe if this new “tactic” can reach people, and I shall find I way, I think, maybe my book will get published after all.