Thinking of Others

The Split Second-In Consideration of Others in These Trying Times

I am still trying to get the right people to notice my book, The Split Second:  In Consideration of Others or Look Up from the Phone and How to Deal with Rudeness in Others and I am finding I have to work much more than I ever thought I would have to do. When I put “These Trying Times” in the title of this blog, I realize that can seem like an understatement.

I mention what may seem like a small subject: that thermostat that most of us have in our homes. I remember seeing in the daily comics that day’s offering of “Dennis the Menace” by Hank Ketchum. Dennis is pointing out the thermostat in the living room to Joey and says, “It’s called a therm-o-stat. Something Dad turns up and Mom turns down.” I live alone currently, so the thermostat is not a major “bone of contention” although it is not working too well these days. However, it could be a “major big deal” with students during my days of being in a high school classroom. An individual student might walk over and turn it down, turn it up, turn it on, or turn it off. Usually, this scenario was right in front of my eyes and when it was not, I could often hear what a student had done. My reaction was always the same, I would say to that student, “Who gave you the right to do what you did?”  The reaction was often the same, “I’m cold” or “I’m hot.” I would then ask the student if he/she considered everyone else in the room. Of course, he/she had not, which was the lesson that I hoped to get across. I would tell that student, “You need to think about the others in this classroom.” I can honestly write here that when I had students in the classroom and I could sense some sort of question whether we should turn on the heat or the air-conditioning, it was best to ask the class and then take a vote. After all, I could communicate a lesson on democracy when I demonstrated that strategy.

About 10 years ago, I was staying in a delightful hotel suite in New York City. My brother and I had just sold our late mother’s condominium (I must give him most of the credit, by far, for that) and we were meeting with his wife, their good friend, and a friend of mine. It was a particularly humid day in the city. When my brother, his wife, and friend entered, my brother walked straight to the thermostat to adjust to his desired setting not asking anyone else in the room where he/she thought it might be set. It was my room and I think I should have been consulted about the room temperature. A simple question like “Would you mind if we adjusted the temperature in here?” and I would have found that more than acceptable.

Of course, a temperature setting is not a huge deal in these tough times but the thought of what I am trying to communicate here is to utilize the Split Second and think for a moment to see what others feel about the current climate in a given room. That is what the Split Second is all about: thinking first and considering others.